Friday, 03 October 2008

shoes

painted them

crappy preview.jpg

Monday, 28 July 2008

Paghee etc

So my summer so far has been pretty awesome and pretty crap. I went to Paris for two weeks, alone, and that was absolutely beautiful. You don't get more details because you are not here, nobody's here.

Monday, 31 March 2008

crap crap crap

Doctors and Dealers - Dirty Pretty Things


wrote a song


one two one two one two uh yeah

god, I hate these people
they just wont let me study
they bother me and my fizix time
the wont ever help me
damn, I just cant get this
its really just too hard
the people are so rude
might as well go swim in lard/my brain is srsly scarred

fizix! people! what can I do?!
fizix! people! my mind is turned to glue!

doctor doctor, can you help me plz
I cannot feel mah mind!
i think its been over (insert physic-y term here)
its been murdered by man kind!

fizix! people! what can I do?!
fizix! people! my mind is turned to glue!

==SHMEGANAIC AWESOME INSTRUMENTAL SOLO THING==

ooooooooooooh! there is no hope!
ooooooooooooh! I am going mad
ooooooooooooh! there's gotta be a solution
ooooooooooooh! this way is just too bad

fizix! people! what can I do?!
fizix! people! my mind is turned to glue

fizix! people! what can I do?!
fizix! people! my mind is turned to glue

then comes the great salvaaaaaation!
(whoa whoa fizix!)
come to save the entire naaaaaation
(whoa whoa people)
fusion and fission, and nuclear bombs
got rid of people and fizix, with no qualms

fizix! people! what have we done!
fizix! people! we've killed everyone!



somebody KILL MEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

Wednesday, 06 February 2008

I've never seen you dance and I've never heard you sing

So how can it mean a single thing?

Thursday, 17 January 2008

I am sick.

Threw up everything I ate yesterday, and starving today. Missed two days of school ---> two repeat exams, that I would obviously have passed, but no, I have to do 'em.

Tuesday, 18 December 2007

cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold

Why won't it be cold?


My misanthropy tells me that people suck. Today, people suck because I don't know them, they're living in my house, they're blatantly ignoring me, they're eating my cake, and I have to escort them shopping, where they spend hours in shops they like, to buy one item, and as soon as I enter one I'm vaguely interested in, they walk out in less than half a minute, leaving me no choice but to follow them. And they tried to make me buy just a sandwich at McDonalds. I eat a lot, so I wanted to pay for my own meal and get whatever I bloody like, which at MDs is coke, but my mum, before running home, told me to make them pay for lunch. In the end, idiot woman made me do the ordering so I got my meal. GAH.

Sometimes I think I'm a spoilt brat, because when we flew back here, my parents swapped me with the couple who are here, putting me in economy, and I hated it, but really, its just I hate them.

Cat to vet in half an hour.

Monday, 17 December 2007

despite it all

The only real conversations are random ones, else they are structured and controlled and thought out, and serve only to convey information. You don't learn anything about people from such conversation, however necessary it may be.

Please ignore the rest of this post if you don't know me.

1- I feel trapped, though I know I'm really not. I just have to ask to get out, but I can't.
2- I don't trust myself with love. I think this deserves a paragraph of its own.

Love, love, love. I am human. I enjoy this. I enjoy the fuzzy feeling when he passes by, I enjoy the companionship with the last few people in my world, I enjoy the little things my mum does. I don't however, believe it can end in good. My mum fell in love with someone who broke her leg, had her in plaster for one and a half years and then married her out of guilt. And I live in a most transitous place. Nobody stays here. I'm not willing to work for something that will just be taken away from me in 6 months, 6 months and a year, whatever. I'm not going to play around, because I don't want to put myself in a messed up position if I happen to like it. I don't believe in marraige. It's a way of binding yourself to someone you're afraid of losing. There's more to say, but I can't say it.

3- I keep making myself distant, and yet I crave to be found. Just nobody who can seems interested in trying.
4- I am not good enough. I have all these ideas, but I can't make them work, because I'm not good enough.
5- I am fucking gifted, too good for you, but you cannot see.
6- I am not going to work harder for something I think doesnt matter.

This requires explanation. If, doing absolutely no work, I can pass everything except french composition, while others spend their life eating, drinking and breathing study, get less than me, I am not going to work to achieve a grade which counts the same as mine. 16 = A, 19 = A, ergo it doesn't matter that I am at 16, since it counts the same.

7- I miss Red.Not the kind of miss when we just didn't for whatever reason speak or whatever, but because she doesn't want me, and I dont know why.

8- I miss the mind I had two years ago, when I actually had substance. Now I'm just a wasted shell.
9- I hate people who call me their friend, when all I mean to them and they mean to me is hi-bye.
10- I hate that I can't talk to anyone.
11- I need to give Mickay her clothes back.
12- I want to keep her clothes.
13- I want armwarmers...

...a pen, the buzz in the back of my head to leave, to gain 5 kilos, chocolate, apple cake, champage, a white mouse, Rosie, Michela, Devon, he who must not be named, he who will be named someday (I hope, for everyone's sake, that he will be), Shu, piano, and more, I want a lot of things.

14- I need to know that I'm real.
15- I need to stop hurting myself.
16- I need to stop analysing.
17- I need to write something, but nothing will come from my head.
18- I need to find the Peter.
19- I need to move.
20- I need to accept that I need people, but I'm not doing that for a while, even though it's true.
21- I need you.
22- I need to write when I'm happy, not just when I'm down.
23- I actually can be happy, quite a lot of the time.


bye bye.

Friday, 19 October 2007

Its amazing I still remember the username.

Hello blog. been neglecting you a bit, been around deviantart... The world's been neglecting you too, though I see 53 hits this month.

Tuesday, 19 June 2007

the quater past eight news, with claire

Good Morning, this is the quarter past eight news with me, claire. Just in, the time has gone 8:23 while we were figuring out what news was about.

Sightings of life forms have been reported from a past blog. The sightee recalls a vague figure asking "Happy now?" and running off. Sightee at the moment thought it was a mirage, but on further inspection found a footprint. With extreme caution, sightee pressed a green word, to be magically transported to a pinkish place quite different from the blogspirit world. More news, after the break.

*runs off for breakfast*

vindy's deviantart!
vindyandshu
cloud appreciation society
colourlovers

*returns with coffee*

Welcome back. It has now gone 8:35. It has come to our attention that certain Ceylonians can't be bothered to make tea. They also have no roots whatsoever in their home land. Students uptil grade 10 at Choueifat have 3 days left to go. Good luck with surviving them. Sony, producer of the Walkman, has gone down in standard. mp3 player of 2 years will not allow sound information tobe transmitted to an audio out put device. CD player, three years old, will not function at all. Tape player of over ten years, still works, though you have to have a sharp object to unstick the play button.

It is also noticed, that at eight in the morning, no one is online, save the Luc Ness Monster, who is currently summer holidaying, and doesnt talk as much even when it is, really there.

Though tragic news that, it is not so tragic as the death of Not Poodle Boy, or Pot Noodle Boy, or Weed Head Boy. potnoodle, known to the real world as John Stevenage, disappeared from the blogging world on the 3rd of November, 2005. He re-appeared as a podcaster in January, 2006, to podcast monthly until September. He decided he couldn't be bothered in October, posting on the Last Day of the month after a lot of nagging by vindy. He then never posted again, and won't reply to emails. vindy's anyways. Vague ideas have been forming in her head in the form of a petition, but they probably wont amount to much, people have to move onto the real world eventually...

We wish you all good luck with the first potnoodle free summer since 2005. And for all you planning a holiday, we have a special report, by vindy, How to Plan your Summer Vacation.


The first thing to do hen planning a holiday, is to decide where exactly it is that you want to go. Keep in mind that different places with different weather conditions need different types of clothes. The Basic Principle of Human Succesc, the way of thought that what enabled us, as in mankind, to take over the world from dinosaurs and what not by adapting to our surroundings by wearing the skins of other poor defenceless creatures such as grizzly bears. You know, basic jeans and T shirt, you’re somewhere civilised(The US of A exempted of course), shorts and you’re in the Australia, the equivalent of blubber and you’re in Antarctica, the Arctic Circle, or Canada, whichever you prefer. In short, all you living in the desert go wherever you like, as long as you don’t mind spending a small fortune on insulation.

The next bit is making sure you can actually get to your wonderful choice of destination. I would consider this to be the most inportant step. I mean, leave it out, and then all will be for nothing, seeing as you’ve put in all the effort in planning and organising your holiday, but can’t actually do the "going on holiday" bit. Book your flight or donkey-cart today!

Righty ho, step three. Now, I want you to look back on at the amount of money you've spent. See that? You've spent all that just to sit in a plane that might fail and crash and kill you, or might take you to where you want to go, all in the "approximated time of flight." The donkey's just going to die, they always die. Now that you've frittered away your life's savings, think about where you're going to stay for the duration of your holiday. Then book and pay for that too.

Now. Spend more money. You need to go shopping! Aw, buy whatever you want, clear mints, people magazine... Actually, it's quite a good idea to take some reading material, occupy yourself whule travelling. I'd also reccomend a compass, rechargable flash-light, a bicycle and a tent. Y'know, in case of world war three or something. And buy a lot of useless junk for trading with the natives. Don't let Christopher Columbus control the market! Muscle in, make a profit! Fun holiday and business venture!

Once you've got your stuff, jam it all into a bag, and keep it shut with rope, ribbon, those studded belts you never wore, hopes, wishes, and tears. Shut up your house to keep it pillager proof. Of course, the rats and dust and tramps will get in anyways, and they might let the pillagers in. With that pleasant thouht, I leave you. Happy holidays!

Saturday, 16 June 2007

63 visits, comments, none.

I am really pissed off at people.

Do you like the banner?

Sunday, 10 June 2007

what do you do, when they forget your name?

cant someone stop the voices, forever calling me
cant someone stop the blood from wounds that nobody can see
cant someone save me from hypocrites, who push me down with lies
cant someone steal me away from here and sever all the ties
cant someone bring him back to me, him so pure and true
cant someone save me from myself, save me from you
cant someone save me from vertigo, that magic deadly thrill
cant someone warm me up inside and get rid of the chill
cant someone pull me out of the depths of my little hell
cant someone fix me up forever with some unearthly spell
cant someone stop me vanishing, im but a hole in the air
cant someone slap me up to sense, cant someone make me care
can anybody find me? i never meant to hide
i am one who could have it all, but ive never tried


my variation on a theme. roses theme. see previous post.

happypill

I stole this from rose's blog.

take a look and see
you probably wont like it
but thats the real me
the girl thats trapped inside her head
without any proper friend
with only voices as companions
and a life with a dead end
hold me in your arms and rock me
like i am a frightened little girl
i need some care, i need some love
let me be, let life unfurl.
so see me for who i really am
an innocent little child
dont let me go through life alone
dont let me get so wild
please dont ever leave my side
and come to me at my call
i need you now, i need you always
i need you to help me stand tall
wipe these tears from upon my face
and help me now to stand
lead me along this long winding path
and when i fall take my hand
promise me youll never leave me?
promise me youll stay?
promise youll be there for me
every single day?
i really cant live life without you
if i did, id die
every day since youve been gone
i have had to cry
you are the only friend i have
i dont want to die alone
i want to live with you and die with you
i want to make my love known
before i take this final breath
listen to me as i say
i love you now, i will love you always
but i cannot stay.
Not for you or any other
Noone in this world
i just hope youll die with me
and come with me to the new world
and the very last thing id like to say
is adieu, hope to see you one day

just because it means a lot to me now. I miss rose, she's never online anymore, and when she is... we've drifted, summat.

anyway, more plagiarism


cant someone stop the ghosts, forever haunting me
cant someone stop things i notice that other people dont see
cant someone stop the voices echoing inside my head
cant someone stop the breakdowns that i have come to dread
cant someone stop this feeling of betrayal and hurt
cant someone for once catch me before i hit the dirt
cant someone stop this pain i feel every time i think of you
cant someone help me through this life, i havent got a clue
cant someone stop the anger that i feel from day to day
cant someone stop the sadness that keeps every one at bay
cant someone help me find the vein that i missed
cant someone stop the blood flowing down my wrist
cant someone make it work this time, i cant face anymore
cant you just leave me alone now to die upon the floor
cant you just stop crying for me, you didnt lose that much
cant you see im still here with you, you can feel my touch
cant you just forget me, live your life again
cant you just see that you were not to blame
cant you just leave me alone now, i really have to go
cant you hear them calling me? with theire voices from below
cant you see ill miss you, and all the times we had
cant you see ill never forget and ill always be sad
but cant you see ill never forgive you, for letting me go this way
you know that i wanted to die, you know i couldnt stay
but you were never there for me, you didnt really care
and now i really really must go and i will leave you there...

Friday, 18 May 2007

say hello

welcome to the real world. open your eyes. this is the real shite, and we are the cunts that must live through it.

anti vindy page

welcome to my world. try not to touch anything, I wouldn't want you to get hurt.



What am I to do?

Friday, 13 April 2007

a reason to blog again

dj is alive! and slightly different, but in a good way.

no one reads this but oh well. Sebastian mentioned in the last post is my paper mache lizard, for anyone who was wondering.

I've just reorganised my music. (new laptop. it is crap, honestly. I want a Sony, had a Compaq, have a HP. with broken speakers)

My room has reached an all time low in messiness.

I'm barely passing science.

Oh! I did DELF exam, A2. I had to say out my phone number, and instead of giving random numbers like I should've. I actually took my own phone number and put it in French, pausing and maybe closing my eyes every two syllables.

meh, all these days I've been thinking of blogging and now that I've a reason (Deej's doing it) I have nothing to say.


Sharon made me make a piczo site. I did. Its ugly, piczo is annoying, and I hate it.
Uploaded some stuff to deviantart here
some new poems me thinks, but I'm not sure.

popcorn is dehydrative.

Im rambling, this is my style of writing. rambley rambley rodelly ray, start a ruckus in rainstorm bay.

hmmm.

I've got scribbley books, and they make schooltimes pass by a bit faster. I want to start a petition for nap time, seeing as they are not going to make school anymore interesting.

Sunday, 25 February 2007

so this is christmas... I mean February.

hello.

my world is dead.

To sum up the last month (can't really be bothered to remmer more):

- I love Shan's doggie
- I am seriously having hard drive problems
- Cooking is a piss off, but I loves it muchly
- Oh, sometime in January I went to New York
- I just remembered the listing habit that goes on when I try to make a vaguely interesting bit of whatever
- I hate Choueifat
- I hate International day
- LONG LIVE UK CANADA STALL, AND THE UK CANADA CD!
- Brit Awards 2007 was GREAT
- I hate Valentines day
- Happy Birthday Anthony
- Happy Birthday me mum for the 27th
- I miss Potnoodle and Rose and Rose and Dan and Biscuit and Inbred and Bec and DJ and Ant D.
- I love my RETARD piano
- Bach is laughing in his grave, laughing at me and the torture he brings
- Ditto for Clementi
- Chopin and Satan are having drinks, discussing me and what prelude to throw at me next
- Pancakes RULE

yeah. I really need to get some work in on the Russian Revolution now. Tomorrow I might put in some poetry. You'll read it, won't you Sebastian? I love you too.

Saturday, 06 January 2007

There are people

There are people who listen to the music their friends listen to.
There are people who try out the music their friends listen to.
There are people who exactly imitate the song.
There are people who sing along.
There are people you admire.
There are people who are just beautiful.
There are people who have talent.
There are people who teach, who help.
There are people you like.
There are people you just want to hug.
There are people you talk about.
There are people you talk to.
There are people who like the rain.
There are people who dance in the puddles in the street in their pyjamas.




There are people.
There are politicians, dentists, and evil vortexes that sleep in the room next to yours.
There are people who bring you ice cream.
There are people who bring you chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream.

Monday, 01 January 2007

By the way, this has nothing to do with new years.

Look at me, Im ten and I have a "bf".

Me, Im going to grow older and older, until it'll be vindy, the sixty year old woman with 147 cats, and I know all their names, and exactly when and where they're going to poo.

and on a different note.

What became of the dreams we had?
Dreams of crushing civilisation, breaking barriers. Rock the world. Make something of yourself?

Screw taking over the world. Screw doing well. Screw future. I'll sell myself to feed my heroin addiction.

Wednesday, 27 December 2006

oh hell

nothing email-y seems to be working today.

this is what I need to use email for. hopefully i can download it from another computer. and then print.

My_Immortal_Sht_Msc.doc
lost room to people who will live in it for a day. bunking with evil vortex of doom. might just sleep on extrmely unconfortable couch.

whatever.

Sunday, 24 December 2006

to herself. the loss of psychopathy. bold bits are not turned by me

To breathe again, to return from the dead.
To relive once more, all in her head.
Things she’d left behind, hurt she never wanted to feel again.
It all comes back in deep sharp pain.

Self-inflicted wounds, a path to immortality,
She finds out now, that she isn’t free
Anymore.
A candid insight, left for the world, stumbled upon in boredom.
And all at once everything comes rushing back.
A swirling force that engulfs, consumes, destroys the calm in non-existence.


"cut your skin with blades of steel,
Do anything that will make you feel,”


Or not.

“Painful lives we must endure,
For hurt and suffering there is no cure”


But of course.

And unfortunately that is where she lies.
With those feelings she exiled she weeps and cries
There’s nothing else that she can do
This is punishment for not being true
To herself…

Sunday, 17 December 2006

I am one of those, melodramatic fools, neurotic to the bone, no doubt about it.

Probably the best Greenday song.

and here I am, while I should be doing English homework.

Yes, so I've not been here a while... yeah... but then again, why should I bother? No one reads this. There's no one to comment back. Everyone is dead, so to speak. Potnoodle, Shan, Rosie, Ant D... DJ...Biscuit, Dan Gingery, Bec...

And thats what I blogged for.

Thats what I miss.

so anyways, I'm not British, but I'm going to talk about the weather. It is wierd. Rain, in Abu Dhabi. Happens once a year, usually in January.

Now, this year, it rained in NOVEMBER. Light showers and bits of rain since.


...

I don't like Abu Dhabi. I never did. When I first came here, I kind of got really quiet. I couldn't talk to the people... they're not... real.

I'm sad. sad sad sad. and I don't know why. feelings are wierd. right now I'm sad, but a while ago I was happy, but nothing's changed since now and then. I'm not tired. I've been sleeping these past few nights. I'm not tired.

Maybe I don't feel, but I only think I do? I know I don't feel guilt, if guilt is feeling bad after doing something wrong...

How can you define feeling? Is it different for each individual?

Tuesday, 21 November 2006

PAHAHAHA. NYAHAHA. ehey. heh heh.



AND IT MESSED UP MY WHOLE LAYOUT!

Ahaha, I turned off convert line breaks. or changed the format to none. whichever you prefer...

HA! Mere codal problems wil not stop ME!

YOU WILL NOT GET THE BETTER OF ME, YOUNG RED BUTTON THAT SAYS "DO NOT PRESS".

Righty Ho

So, here we are, another year day, another blog, and well.

Life sucks, and I'm well happy. Sometimes atleast.

It rained by the way. For like an hour. I didn't want to get wet, but we were papering Mrs. Mallaks office and she kept sending me to the SLO/Art Room. And I couldn't go internally, because the door between the Library and the Grade 12 corridor was locked.

But in the end its like, what the hell, I'm soaked through, and it probably won't rain for another 9 months. So I joined the huge rain-worship festival, on our new-half-melted-not-anymore-bouncy-red splotch. Sorry, but there's no word for it.

So, puddle sliding, and 50-ugggh chanting, and high-pitched screaming, and our horrid school uniform t-shirts going see-through, and getting soaked to the bone it was.

I give you points, in a wierd order, with indented bits where they're meant to be, but the parts around fit in their block of un-indentated-ness, only are not in proper order within those blocks

-stealing Jumper/Jackets from PE hall lost and found
-Jo falling on me
-Mr. Clive(? summat like that) RUNNING from like- a pack of boys. That man can run.

-Garov taking pictures on his phone
-supervisor asking "What you doing"
-Garov talking his way out of it
-my phone somehow in a puddle
-Stavros picking up my phone and going "Sir, I found a phone"
-me rescuing phone

-Aneez sending me to some random person with a size Childrens S jacket to say "Be decent man, cover up!"(the dude looked down and said "why?" Ahahaha, hardy ha. ha ha. well, it was sort of my idea, he egged me on.)
-spinning, falling
-more falling
-everything so grey and un-Abu-Dhabian
-Garov trying to pick me up, and failing, resulting in a sort of flippy thing, with me two feet off the ground. Let go....
-Piggy back Jo!
-BEING LIKE COMPLETELY BLIND
-some people in Year 10/11 opening their windows
-Lawrence coming out in her nice dry skirt once it was all over.
-ditching PE
-PE getting cancelled because the Hall and pitch were flooded
-ditching Year Six exam hall
-Telling Years Five and Six to get back to their classes

-NAVERA HAS HEARD OF BABYSHAMBLES! SHE SAW THE WORD ALBION AND SHE SAID "It's by Babyshambles, right?"
-change into PE kit (well, the T-shirt anyways)
-shoes comepletely soaked
-walking about randomly
-running away from Mr. Ahmad
-watching some Year Seven kid spray paint grass and leaves
-watching another Year Seven kid steal the paint and vandalise the pavement (tried to make him do the anarchy sign, but he didn't. Fool)

rain here is retarded.

Wednesday, 08 November 2006

And the bright lights with blueberry shine,

and they block out the sun, everyone run.
keep moving, fleeing, don't give up on your escape.

doop shoop de dum.... parum tarum.


I give you the beginnings of a song I just made up.
and I cannot sing it,
no I cannot sing it, so sing it your self,
however else,
Is it GOING TO GET

SUNG???

tarum tarum



And I know I've been neglecting things,
so much I should've done.
but now its too late,
mebbe this was the fate,
of me?
humming a cheerful song which till just now did

NOT EXIST?


so here is more of the song I just made up.
I refuse to sing it to you,
never will sing it to you, so sing it your self,
however else,
Is it GOING TO GET

SUNG???

tarum tarum


go off, be somebody else. or not, just be yourself
but whatever you are, you will go far, if you just...

I dunno.

I am waiting, to learn, does this song I've just made up,
mean anything to you at all, does this make any sense at all,

Or is it not even meant. to?

tarum tarum

and here, is a song I just made up.
so sing it your self, yes sing it to yourself
however else,
Is it GOING TO GET


SUNG???


And now I must close it, somehow try to end it, but the words, just don't come.
I wrote a song, it grew a tune, and now it must be hummed.
I am sorry for your worry, for me I am quite jolly,
And the songs got a tune, and I sing it, yes I sing it.

And IF YOU COULD HEAR ME YOU COULD

SING

ALONG

tarum tarum

so Im sorry for the trouble I've caused, things I've done, things I've said
but I wrote a song.

a song I sing, and so can you, just let the words lead you through I'm sure you could find the tune. too.

tarum pum. derererererere-dum.

and let this song be yours aswell, grow it spread it, let it swell
into a world of rhyming glee
change the words,
rub your hands together, mishieviously

And sing this song, yes sing along,
sing out of line but in your tune,
your own tune, that makes this song,

YOURS.

and the Bright lights with the blueberry shine, shine brighter with age,
no chance of escape, are you singing? are you humming? are you wondering?


it is meant to be shared, it is meant to be cherished,
if not in my blog it'll surely perish.
my pretty song, your pretty song, such pretty words in such a pointless verse, of, non-existant, tune.

tarum tarum.

Friday, 27 October 2006

story time

One blisteringly hot after noon, there's a girl travelling back home from uni. She was meant to go with her Emirati friend, but at the last minute, they decide not to go. Alright, fine, let her take the train. But wait! This is Abu Dhabia! There's no trains! She goes to Sheik Zayed University! And she lives in Khalidiya! There's no need for a train! Take a taxi! But nooooooo...., her mommy won't let her take a taxi alone! The poor sod could get raped! or worse! pillaged at! So she stays behind with her friend, never leaving her side. Not even once. Now the friend's sole reason for staying behind was to meet her non-Emirati boyfriend, so this girls presence was hindering. So she takes her to the car, locks her inside, says "DON'T come out", and prances off in her long skirt, swinging her Channel bag.


An hour passes. And another. Girl is worried, but she doesn't have a cell phone and she dares not incur the wrath of an Emirati girl by leaving the car.


Suddenly! Outside the window! Some wierd dude is grinning. Slowly, slowly he lifts up his hand. DECAPITATED HEAD OF EMIRATI GIRL!!! Then, he slowly, slowly lifts up his other hand. He's got the girls keys. To the car.




Peter comes through your window, and only he can save you from the vampires, that shall steal your soul to feed themselves. You need to find your Peter, and eat of his fairy dust, only then will you be safe. But somehow you get married, although Peter and Wendy never did.

You may kiss the bride.

Eat of the fairy dust.

Peter turns out to Satan. You have kissed Satan, eaten of his fairy dust. Wendy, you are now doomed.

Monday, 23 October 2006

I am an angsty chicken nugget.

I went into a flurry of ranty poetry. visible here.

I hate people in general, and two in particular. as soon as I get close to someone, everyhting else messes up. Exception: Shanya. We had our messy up time when I was eight. or nine. We've got to do Europe Trip style thing again. Now that we're friends and all. <3<3

I want to be somewhere cold. As in wintery.

here is a quizzlepop thing. I quoted it so you can skip it if you want to.

3. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY? last night, when someone went spazzy on me, and turned the situation around, blaming me, instead of person who can't deal with change.

4. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? Yep. its mine and messy and I love it

5. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? lunch meat? erm, I like ham?

7. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOURSELF? if I were another person, would I who is me, want to be friends with me, the other person? in short, friends basically suck, although sometimes (never) you get a good one. and usually you don't have much contact. or summat like that.

8. DO YOU HAVE A JOURNAL? does blog count?

9. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? sarcasm? me? I NEVER, EVER, use SARCASM

10. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? yes, and I plan on keeping them

11. WOULD YOU GO BUNGEE JUMPING? HELL YEAH!

12. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? that crunchy thing from carrefour, cereals croustiallant au chocolat or somefing

13. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? nope

14. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? define strong.

15. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR? chocolate chip cookie dough.

16. SHOE SIZE? dunno, *picks up shoe* UK 7 US 9

17. RED OR PINK? *turns to look at red walls* I absolutely LOVE pink!

18. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? my negativity

21. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? I'm not wearing pants or shoes. :O skirt and tights-legwarmers combo.

22. LAST THING YOU ATE? Werthers Original

23. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? who the f is pete doherty. the documentry. its playing killamangiro

24. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? dark green

25. FAVORITE SMELL? the smell that rises from the ground after the rain, cut grass, cinnamon, baked apple, the sea, michela's house

30. FAVORITE SPORT? i like to run. and I like water

31. EYE COLOR? browney

32. HAIR COLOR? black. me friends all say its dark brown. they so nice.

33. HAT SIZE? I know that 5 is a bit too small for me...

35. FAVORITE FOOD? DARK chocolate.

36. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDING? happy ending

37.LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED AT THE MOVIE THEATRE ? dunno really...

38. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? black. with a snowman on it.

39. SUMMER OR WINTER? Winter

40.HUGS OR KISSES? hugs

41. FAVORITE DESSERT? Chocolate anything

44. WHAT BOOKS ARE YOU READING? A Child Called It, David Pelzer

45. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? I cant use a mouse, my computer freezes

47. FAVORITE SOUNDS? music

48. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? neither, but I dont like the Beatles. The Rolling Stones are atleast alive, no offence to dead people

49. THE FURTHEST YOU'VE BEEN FROM HOME? this summer? the ice rink. ever? La Mirada, which is somewhere in California. home being where I'm currently sitting

51. IF YOU WON A ROUND TRIP TICKET TO ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD, WHERE WOULD YOU GO? England or Canada. Google says its cold.




WOULD YOU RATHER
1) pierce your nose or tongue? tongue

2) be serious or be funny? Funny in a nice way

3) drink whole or skim milk? whole

ARE YOU
4) simple or complicated? people tell me im complicated... they mean it in a bad way though

DO YOU PREFER
5) flowers or angels? Flowers

6) grey or black? grey

7) color or black-and-white photos? Black and white

8) lust or love? love

9) sunrise or sunset? sunset... the stars come out...

10) M&Ms or Skittles? Mini M&Ms

11) rap or rock? Rock

12) staying up late or waking up early? Staying up late, and not sleeping at all, where you get the whole "early morning thing"

13) TV or radio? depends which country I'm in

15) eating apples or oranges? eating apples, drinking oranges

TRUTHFULLY
16) do you have a crush? yep, sadly

17) do they know it? hmm. well, he mightve done.

DO YOU PREFER

18) being hot or cold? comfortably warmly dressed in extreme cold.

19) tall or short members of the opposite sex? tall, because im tall. and i like feeling shorter

20) sun or moon? moon

21) emeralds or rubies? rubies

22) left or right? left

23) having 10 acquaintances or 1 best friend? 1 best friend.

24) sun or rain? rain

25) vanilla ice cream or chocolate ice cream? chocolateee!

26) boys or girls? girls are hard to be friends with.

27) green beans or carrots? i love beans.

28) low fat or fat free? there's a difference?


ABOUT YOU

Nicknames: vindy, vindaloo, vindamos, vinday, vinderee

Where do you want to live? England Germany Canada

UNIQUE
1. Nervous Habits? i seem to play with my hands or my hair a lot : and i put things in front of my face to try to hide it when i get embarrassed

2. Are you double jointed? IN MY LEFT THUMBBBBBB

3. Can you roll your tongue? i used to. but not anymore. it took lots of training....

4. Can you raise one eyebrow at a time? nooohhh

5. Can you blow spit bubble? yep

6. Can you cross your eyes? nay

7. Piercings and where? 2, in each ear there was a third in my left ear, but it closed up

8. Do you make your bed everyday? um, no. im just going to sleep in it again...

CLOTHES

9. Which shoe goes on first? I think left, since I hold my balance better on my right foot... but thats just crap, I really don't know

10. Speaking of shoes, have you ever thrown one at anyone? at my sister. many times

11. On the average, how much do you wear jeans? i live in them. aprt from when im in my pjs. or a skirt, like now, which is quite rare.

12. What jewelry are you wearing? earrings, bracelet watch

13. Favorite piece of clothing? I think its my jeans.

FOOD
14. Do you twirl your spaghetti? doesnt everyone? how else could you eat it...?

15. Have you ever eaten Spam? doubt it

17. How many kinds cereal are in your cabinet? 5 or 6

18. What's your favorite beverage? something I once made, but I don't remember what was in it.

19. What's your favorite restaurant? The Chinese place in Novotel-thing.

20. Do you cook? YESH! AND DAMN GOOD IT IS TOO!

21. How often do you brush your teeth?: twice a day!

22. Hair drying method?: leave it alone

23. Have you ever colored/highlighted your hair/whatcolor? nope

24. Do you swear? yes

25. Do you ever spit?: yup. after i brush my teeth.

26. You cook your own dinner: I can! I can!

25. You do your own chores: um. occasionally...

27. you like beef jerky: im not sure

28. you own more than one brush: yup

29. your favorite color is: the colour of my red walls, which is called scarlet letter, and is a dark, slightly pinkish red.

30. you plan on going to college: yup

31. you're completely broke right now: nope, I've got 20 dhs, and everything I want to buy is 30, so not completely, but in essence

32. you're happy with your hair: I'd like it shorter

33. you own a dog: I want to

34. you spend your money wisely: *shame*

35. you're always making new friends: I'm going to stop. as soon as I get close to someone, everyone/thing else messes up in realtion and the someone ends up not so friend-ish.

36. you like to swim: i like to float. and a few lazy strokes

37. you get so bored you take a shower: already happened today. thats why Im here and not in a nice hot stream of water

38. you're patient: depends who with...some people bring out the worst in me




You know what a good question would be?

How many people saw this post and didn't read it?


Or how 'bout...

How many people really, really want to knife you right now?


Since we're touching on questions...

Where is The First Of October, Two Thousand And Six?


Poodles is slacking, and I wrote him an artists profile on Last.fm, which he SO does not deserve. I wanted to fill it with nasty untruths but "Hey, he's amusing, and deserves atleast something..." took over. SLACKER!!!

Why don't I just go to sleep? I'm wasting time here...


I know!
I know!

Pick ME!!!!


yes?


YOU ARE AN

insomniac,


YOU can't
SLEEP.


ah.



edit-type-thing: SHANNY-YARR! I have words for you, yes, words meant exclusively for you.

my French teacher called me a Mongolian. She also called my conjugasion of a chechuka(?).

an Algerian salad.

What is it with your insulting me all of a sudden? hmm?

and I'm coming over on the 26th. Singstar party yay. and poking of your brother, and hugging of your doggy.

PLEASE don't have arabic food. or thai.

do spare ribs! your dad makes gorgeous spare ribs!

Saturday, 21 October 2006

SO!

I forget when the last post was posted but anyways. This is important, and if I forgot then I must be shot.

On the 13th of October(Or not yesterday but Friday before), I was invited to the birthday party of a woman I do not particularly like.

Mummy can I not go?
Ask your father.
Daddy can I not go?
Why dont you want to go?
Because she made me clean up her Dinuks room last time, and no one my age will be there
What about Shanya?
She's not going, she hates her. (Um DHURRRRR....)
Ok, stay home.
*yayness*


Then came the calls.


Hey vindy, it's me Aliya, see, me and Sharon and Nadia, we're, like, going to see a movie you wanna come?
Sure, lemme ask. Sorry I can't, my parent are going out and they don't want me leaving house.
Why?
*repetition*



Hello? It's Reem.
Oh. Hi. *panic*(don't make me do anything Halloweeny)
Look, I'm having an Iftar, it doesn't matter if you're not fasting, you want to come?
*remembers last call*Sorry, I'm going out.
Where?
My family is invited to this place for dinner. Sorry.
Oh, its ok, bye


Who was that?
Reem, she wanted to invite me for Iftar.
Why didnt you say yes?
Wha...? You're prepared to send me to an Iftar of someone you've never heard about before 5 minutes ago, but you wont let me go to a movie with Sharon, Aliya and Nadia, whom I practically spend my life with?

Yello.
MICKEY!!!! yay.
woooo! How're you?
bored. *spills life story in 20 words or less*
Ya, me too *her life story in 20 words or less* Whatcha doing? Can you come over and sleep over or something?
Nope. waitwaitwaitwaitwait! (MA!!! Can Michela come over?) YOU can come here, but you've got be dropped off and picked up. kay?
Sure. I'll be there soon
Yay.


Yes. so she comes. and we have an enormous banana split. but she leaves at 10 30 due to hockey camp. GHEYYYYYYYY. My attentions move to the Internet. And guess who is online?

ROSIE!!!1!!!11!ONE!1!ONE!!ONE!!11!





SKYPE ROCKS MY WORLD.

Anyways, Aliya's been wierd to me since that day.

We've now got two Saras! Although the original one seems to have dissappeared. Last I heard of her, she was in Brighton. Well, no-one ever mentioned her coming back...

CHECK OUT

TEMPLATE!



AND PHOTO!





AND

BIG
LETTERS!



twas bored.

love you too tejus. (I love everyone...hmmm)

and Shanya, as your sole non-spammy-commentator, I demand better comments than "YAY". Get cracking.

ant d, I follow you through the streets, silently unseen, until the day I will be under your bed, and with my knife I will kill you. Again, sole commentator, cheers man.

Sunday, 15 October 2006

she had no notion to please him, just say tarrah! and leave him behind

I re-opened all comments on almost all posts. Knock yourselves out.

Teh cooliest!

INDIEPHONE

Shan's in it.



I LOVE BOWLING!

so tell me, baby, how does it feel?

...I know you like the roll of the limosine wheels.

So the title looks a little wrong, but its a damn good song. Boys in the Band. The Libertines. Go listen. You'll see why that HAD to be the title.

Listening to: Random Libertines (shuffle!)

ONE: My blog sucks, it is a complete and utter failure. This may be due to passwording, but I swear, I am NOT deleting this because my parents found it.

TWO: I am writing another list, I like lists.

THREE: I cannot be bothered to keep promises made in previous posts.


1- I can't remember them
2- Good Lord, I'm making a sub-list
3- must stop listing


FOUR: dammit. Sorry all, it's habit.


I've got Skype. castironbutterfly is username. Why? I really don't know. I thought silver filigree butterfly, but it seemed too light and fragile. Cast Iron. Very heavy... must NOT let that get made into a heavy metal band name. *shudder*


Thing to note: I love anthony's style of blogging. Sure, reading his blog is akin to watching soap operas. Not that he has a soap opera life, but its some one else's life I am meticulously(fabulous word) following. I've even watched his music "advance", and thus figured out that he was only "appearing offline". I feel stalkerish. But I digress. He's got nice narrative style.


Ok, here's a random idea I've had. Writing a book. I write one chapter, I send it to someone else, who can take it to a whole new level. Writing style can be completely different. He can take the plot wherever the hell he likes. It could be in poetry, or in dialogue, or like a play. One rule, you cant change anything written by previous person. Then it gets sent to someone else, and so on until the story is over. Which may take forever. I could be tempted to finish it. But hey, my idea.

On topic of love, which I touch very often. I love everyone except my sister, Ammar, rude spazzy lady from bookstore, and Amina/Amna whatever her name is.

I leave you with wise words.

If you really need it, you just won't leave it behind.

Saturday, 30 September 2006

Sunrise, Sunset - Bright Eyes

I post. Like Stonehenge. Big. Whoop.

Stonehenge. Why do we want to know about it? When you buy a pen, you don't wonder about the dude who pressed the button that started the machines, now do you?

I like Salisbury. I feel I fit in there. Well, I only spent about 4 hours there. I think it is the meal I had that was the lasting impression. Sheperds pie. [is it shepards? both seem wrong.]

Today is the last day of September. I leave homage.

Beginning School. This was quite fun, I'd elaborate, but it is past news.
End of summer.(weather wise) Hopefully.
Ramadan: One lunar month of one and a half hours less school. Wooooot
Extreme dancing. For fancy eid performance.
Birthdays. (In chronological order)

Happy Birthday Luc, fellow door system inventor.

Happy Birthday cousin that lives in Reading.(and yer dad)

Happy Birthday Noora who sits next to me at school and is so comfortable to lean on.

DIE EVIL VORTEX OF A SISTER. *ahem-ahem* (She ruined my dinner, I now hate pie. Which is sad.)

Happy Birthday Garov whose surprise birthday I could not attend.

Happy Birthday Mr Haddad oh funny maths teacher


Also, DJ has hit his 1000th comment. Yay him.

Anthony went somewhere posh and got a name-identity-card-entrance-pass-thing. I want one.

Enough on that.

I last saw Shan at my sister's birthday party. A week ago. Methinks she's still alive.

Its 15 to 2. In the morning. If I say in the night, isn't it obvously the same time? It's only if I say in the afternoon that we turn 12 hours. And I need to go to school in 5 and a half hours. On Aviator. I promise to mention more about this in the next post.

Last Fm recommendation radio refuses to work. Sad, I've been told by people to listen to quite a few of the artists that show up on the listy(I like lists) thing.

How much is "quite a few"?

Andreea, who sits behind me (what is the fuss about her? eh? let her live her life! can't you stop mentioning who her friends are and whether or not that is her natural hair colour and all of her social life? geh! And yes, she's fifteen. She told me. Yeah, she's spoken to me. Stop linking her to Aya and just talk to her. She's nice, she'll talk back) says I think too much. I've been thinking for ten-almost eleven years. (My first memory dates from when I was three. A museum. It was grey and I was trying to sit under the exhibit tables.) I can't stop thinking. The moment I try, I start noticing that I'm breathing, and when I try to stop that, I stop breathing, and then I have to breathe, and I get started thinking on why when I realise that I'm breathing, and try to stop the realisation, I stop breathing. Its a vicious cycle.

I made a poster for the play. Sorry, MUSICAL. No one from school comes here so I guess I'm safe posting about it. There is a play. *figuratively dances about, in reality never leaving chair*

so. poster.

CLUCKED_copy.jpg

Luc sent me a picture he took of me, while I was trying to escape being caught on film, and Im trying not to laugh, which on me is an extremely candid expression, and I look bleh. I hate bad pictures. Luc apologised. I tried to photoshop it a bit, blur my cheeks and get rid of the wierd shape, but Photoshop is horrid.

By the way Shan, if thou readest this, thou must rememeber that thou havest mine CD for CS2, and I requireth it to beset it on the schools computer, as it haveth version seven, which I find muchly stupid and inferior.

Something I've wanted to say for a long time is "killeth me". So far no oppertune moment.

I love The Pirates of the Caribbean movies. Johnny Depp IS quite overated, but oh so good.

I got a bandana. It is rather stiff, but me mum likes it. Which is nice. She normally hates all my hearwear[is this the word?] and refuses to talk to me when I have it on. Which is mean.

Something to Note: Pandora Internet Radio is annoying.

wow word of the moment: spurious.
current annoyance: having to take Aviator device and get it finished before 10 today. That would be in 8 hours. but I can only work on it for two, since the team's got to do something.

I want to kill Ammar. Every time I see him sitting and smiling over nothing, murderous thoughts rise in mine head. Or maybe I just hate the way he doesn't do anything at all. I don't do much myself, but I've done more than him so HA!

My posts are so pointless. I will hopefully make the next one thought-provoking.

And here I leave you for my bed.

Tuesday, 05 September 2006

aha shake heartbreak

I only typed aha, the rest sort of followed.

So I needed write the outline to a story titled “The Winner”. As usual I write the actual essay before the plan because I can never plan anything and when I do it turns out crap. I free-write.

Now here comes the slight complication. I’ve never won anything in my life, ever. At all. So I did the whole fantasise, imagine, let mind run riot thing and I got this.

The_Winner.3.doc

Too long for school so I made it this. It’s less dramatic. If you read the first one, don’t bother with this.

short_winner_winner_none_the_less..2.doc


Again, love has to be given out.

Love to Shan, who is coming over Thursday for dinner (YAYNESS).

Love to Anthony because he is so curiously confusing and lovely.

Love to Hikari, because she is just so sweet and thoughtful and she got you a present, and shes only known you two months.

Love to shushu. I thought you were hating me. I was wrong. Together we will save them from the webby people and rule the world.

Love to Sharon, we were lazy and now we suffer. Cheers.

Love to Jo, Luc and Tejus. My days as “hat girl” were fun thanks to you. No love to Sherang and Garov. My name is not “Hatty” and it is MY hat.

Horrid sister. I avoids her as muchly as possible.

And I've decided I dont like Kings of Leon. They're ok, but I usually skip their songs.

Sunday, 03 September 2006

And the award goes to...

Anthony. For making me feel less sad/unhappy, lonely/alone, hated/unloved. Redundancy, see?

god, im emo. must stop. *hits head*

anyway, love to anthony. and shan. shan is lubble and deserving of love.

school started. its great fun. i get to be away from people im related to.

i really need to figure some things out. more on that.

bye.

Sunday, 20 August 2006

Oh joyfulness

I'm not dead.

Me parents found the blog. So I'm sort of avoiding the computer. I'm only here because the MP3 player needs charging.

A MESSAGE FROM OUR SPONSORS: Don't look back into the sun.

Ok, technically I have no sponsors but well.


*sigh*

You're different and thats bad.

Tuesday, 15 August 2006

eh

I am fuckishly sick. Goodbye all, I am dying tonight.

Sunday, 13 August 2006

I suck

I drank two pints of tea at 4 30. I assume this was breakfast. Then I went to sleep and woke at twelve. So lunch. Leftover pasta.

I killed myself in Final Fantasy. Then I had to go back and I hadn't saved after the blitzball competition. I lost and then killed myself again. (accidentaly, my characters dont have suicidal tendencies.)

I got hungry around 4pm, there was tea but the thought of tea made me sick. Instead I had some ham.

I started on a pavlova, but once I added sugar, my meringue mix wouldn't stay in peaks. I had to turn it into a cake. We had no butter so I used margerine. Softer. Hmmm. But it was really frustrating. I'm not going to cook anything for the rest of summer.

Put my cake to bake and went upstairs. Threw up. Assuming ham was bad.