chimaera

Katie and Hannah were camping, so Matthew and I got friendlier than we had been.

Benjamin took me out and we accidently had fancy food before watching a movie, so I took him out the next time. He took me to his place and we played pinball, and Kingdom Hearts, and fell asleep on each other, and built a fort, and he brought me back at around four and there was no one home to judge. I hugged him and told him I'd see him in December, and I did, a year too late, since I didn't know I'd lose my folks.

When Matthew was with his dad, Melissa and I would walk for hours. We just got restless. Taking care of one kid is infinitely easier than three.

I loved having keys, I loved that tiny apartment. I loved how productive I was, and that the kitchen was not much more than a corridor.

I really hope they haven't moved.

people woke me up at 2 30 because they have every right to be super loud and then they went to bed at 4 and I was so angry and I hate that I mean less to them than the air that becomes their burps but I still stay up nights trying not to let them turn me into a horrible petty person :(

I need to do some shopping before I start making food but I'll have to walk past them to do so and I hate it :(

Day 0 23 Sat - Travelling, checking in, sleeping.

Saturday: Travelling day. Started off lovelily, went to tims for breakfast, hit the border. The border sucked. I got moved to the back and slept a while, and then it was crappy and rainy but we made it! It just took forever. Walked around Times Square a bit.

Sunday: Took the cruise and it was fine. Headed for Chinatown. Took forever to get there because of walking, and Evan stopping for everyone who tried to pitch a sale. Eventually took a cab at his suggestion. Driver was Palestinian, and very unhappy. "I never have fun." He also had family in the Emirates, though he wasn't sure which Emirate. We basically walked out of Chinatown and didn't hit Little Italy, went past the courthouse, and got to the WTC. We were super early because of failing, and so we walked around Wall Street until time came to head for the memorial. I could barely do it because of the Sybren photo, but I did it. Was highly discouraged by my legs and Luc's decision that we'd save the 30 bucks for the metropass. Eventually he got into the Subway and bought it, though, and we were at the Empire State Building but my day was ruined and everyone sucked. Then I ran off by myself cause Evan was taking forever again and Luc is terribly inobservant and a fast angry walk of pain and suffering sounded really nice. Then it was like "so sorry Vindy we'll do the plan."

Monday: We went to MOMA since NYFA failed at being contacted. First I had a chocolate bun, though. MOMA was fun although about half an hour cut short since we didn't know there was a 6th floor and we ran through it in less than 8 minutes. Evan had been done for an hour, à la Chlolivia. We had street hotdogs, and went home, and came out again to eat and buy my hat that makes my eyes enormous. Joe's Pizza was whatever, the chicken finger place was amazing, and the hat shop was cool. We offered the spare jazz ticket to the saleslady, since Keegan bailed. (and I would never ask him for money I spent on him) She couldn't come, but she invited us to a party! No one could come until we asked a dude in line at the club, and he was cool and taking a girl out, so at least he benefited. The band was wonderful, and we probably did well drinking water than alcohol since quite a few people seemed annoyed at their drinks. Then we had meatballs that were also amazing. Evan wanted to shower before the party and we wanted to get straight to it, but the transit was odd for that so we just headed back to the hotel. On the way there was a cellist in the Subway and he played a lot of Beatles which is cool if you're into that, I guess. And a homeless man called me pretty.

Tuesday: We tried to hit up the theatres to see if we could get rush tickets, which mostly ended in failure. Wicked was up for a student price, though, and Evan couldn't afford it, but I wanted to go with Luc since I was ridiculously stressed out from constant exposure to Evan. Luc was like yeah okay but we'll see if there's something we can all go to. We headed for Chinatown again, because Evan decided he actually wanted to see it, and we walked around and had some ice cream. Then we were in Little Italy and I had cannoli. Then I was sad because I was thinking of Sybren, and then we couldn't find the Kiosk place in Soho, and Luc had left behind the notes I had written for him, and we found NYFA, and he can never hear me and I hate that. I gave two dollars to someone named Michael, who held my hand and wished me twofold. He seemed a bit agressive until he realised he had my attention, after which he was charming. We went too far and it was all just the same so I got the key off Luc. Evan followed me for a while, but I lost him and went to a bookstore. I had no money on me, and there was nothing there to convince me to figure out POS with my visa, so eventually I got back to the hotel room and took a bath. It was a hard evening laying in a bathtub full of freezing water wishing you were a ghost and there were feather blades in my toiletries bag, and how could I possibly let Sybren get that news? How could I possibly abandon him? So I got out and got into bed and pretended to be asleep when Evan showed up. Luc came back an hour after his thing finished, and he liked it, and whatever.

Wednesday: Should've been the Natural History museum, but since we fail, it became the Guggenheim. The water fountains were super clear, and we just walked the building since we were all modern arted out. At the bottom was a frame for people to draw on, that'd become a tagging board which was lame, but I drew the victory bear. Then we went to the apple store, which was pointless, but made of glass, and the toy shop, that was huge and fancy, and laduree, where we spent too much money on decadence. Oh my goodness. Then it was time for Wicked, and we were pretty and pretty late, but we made it! And the show was super awesome, and Willemijn Verkaik was the best at singing, and the Glinda characted was irritating but fun. It was a really good adaptation. After the show we went to Balthazar, where my smile was complimented. I had my first illegal drink of cider, and the most generous duck confit. There were a million mushrooms in that plate. I had a bread pudding that was a bit not spectacular, but otherwise everything was brilliant.

Thursday: Cloisters! Tapestries! North Manhattan! Unfortunately we were mistaken as to the opening hours of the Met, so that was sad.

Friday: Museum of Natural History, like a stationary YouTube/Wikipedia! The Met! It was the best!

 

On either thursday or Friday I ate squab and the most delicious pears I've ever had in my life.

Also Zabar's is amazing.

The end.

if Sybren dies I will be beside myself with grief.

 

But what can I say when I know first-hand that nothing anyone says sinks in?